I’m glad to hear things are getting better for you. I know you have a strong testimony of prayer & of the Gospel cause you are the one that taught me to be how I am. I didn’t just come out of a box this way :p Someone had to show me & be an example for me!
These past 9 months have been a little hard on me too, at times. I have been so used to being able to go to church and feel the spirit & to be able to have the gospel conversions & feel the spirit but now I feel like it’s super hard to recognize. I would be able to go into Priests or Elders Quorum or into Gospel Doctrine & feel the spirit work on me, giving me impressions or thoughts on whatever it was we were talking about. Now, I walk in to teach a lesson & it isn’t until after the lesson that I can tell the Holy Ghost was there. As a teacher that scares me because how, then am I supposed to know if the spirit is getting through to them? How am I to know if what I’m teaching at that moment is right for their needs & concerns?
As I look back on what I just wrote it seems like our Heavenly Father is trying to teach us a similar lesson: To rely on ourselves a little less & to rely on Him a little more. Prayer, as you know, is one of the best ways to do that. That is something we should always stay close to. I have seem SO many prayers answered it is crazy. To be able to see the hand of the Lord in my life & in the lives of others because of prayer is amazing to me. I’m glad you kept that in mind & have looked so intently for His answer to you.
Two things that aren’t really related but do pertain to the letter you wrote. First thing is about the blocks. I love the idea & I love that Randi did that for you, but there is a term that we missionaries use. It’s called being “trunky”. I think those blocks are making you trunky, haha! If nothing else, this is just my personal opinion, I would put them away somewhere. That way you’re not focusing on it or even thinking about every single day. The second thing now. You wanted to serve a mission? I had no idea! Maybe I did, but you know I suck at remembering things.
I love you Mom. More than you know. I miss you & pray for you often. I love being out here, even if it is 113° most of the time.
~Elder Daniel Peterson YMS