Men In Black Rap

So, before Daniel left for his Mission I was planning a pretty sweet Men In Black themed birthday party for him. As part of the party I was re-writing some of the lyrics of the original MIB song by Will Smith. It turns out a few other people have done this as well so I took a few of their lyrics when I couldn't figure out my own. Anyway, it ended up like this...

We are your best, last, and only line of  offense.
We work with power, we exist by authority.
And we dress in black.

The good guys dress in black, remember that
On a bike, car, bus, we make contact
The title held by me: MISSIONARY
Teaching with great power and authority

You know we won’t cruise, or the spirit’s gone
Conservative suits with the Wembley ties on
Walking urgent, with a purpose
Eating up all of the members’ surplus

And yo, we ain’t got no strings attached.
Our flaxen cords are cut so we don’t detract
See something cute, turn our back
Cause we’re keeping holy where the MIB’s are at

Now from the hottest of Tempe‘s streets
On the horizon white shirts enter the sight tight
Faithful men, 10 on a scale of 10
And then like BOOM white shirts fill the room up

With the quickness talk with the Witnesses
Confounding, and astounding
Testimonies strong tear down doctrine wrong
Ain’t no anti-cheese, can I please

Learn what we teach, that’s the way we kick it
Know what I mean?
I see all my commitments getting wicked on ya
We’re you’re best, last, and only line of offense against the worst scum of the universe

So don’t fear us – hear us!
If you ever get near us you’ll see that we’re fearless
MIB’s leading up all your pack
“What’s that stand for?” Men in Black.

Alright, check it, let me tell you this in closing
I know we might seem imposing
But trust me – if we ever come your direction
Believe me – it’s for your own election

We don’t be teaching what we need not teach
And we don’t be speaking what we need not speak
So come unto Christ, cut this apostate crap
Show love to the black suit, cause that’s the Men in Black.

Then, just last weekend, Bryan and I went to see Men In Black 3. The song at the end of the credits caught my attention right away! I still had to change some of the lyrics, but a lot of them actually worked just the way they were. It's not the whoe song, but this song wasn't written by Will Smith so... it just wasn't as clean, and that made it a little more difficult to work with. So, here's the two main verses (my missionary version)...

Black suits, white shirts, black glasses with a matching tie
Like Elder P or Elder K, and I wish the whole world would
Understand what we understood
Ok, I’m tryin' make our world make a little sense
I’m a go-getter, mover, shaker, culture, bury a boarder, record-breaker won’t cha
Give credit where credit is due don’t cha
Know that we come, not as one, always there’s two
Y'all just got halfway thoughts
Not sure how to make up your mind
But to understand the future we have to go back in time

He got the globe, yeah, in the palm of His hand
Wherever He spin it, that's where I land
Let’s save the world
Men In Black I know you understand
Stop the movement, they can try if they want to
We can’t be stopped, we’re too strong for you-know-who
What it solves is meant for all to know
Took like jigsaw and built it all
From the bottom up, we can explain it all
Y'all just got halfway thoughts
Not sure how to make up your mind
But to understand the future, we have to go back in time!